Ways To Annoy People: The Restaurant
by SamanthaReese
Summary: The eighth installment of my "Ways To Annoy People" series. In this one, Alex and her husband James Blake are celebrating their anniversary and pulling some pranks at their favorite restaurant.
1. Annoying The Next Table

**A/N: Hello, everyone! Guess what time it is! It's time for the eighth installment of my "Ways To Annoy People" series! To refresh your memories, here's what's happened so far… Ashley Seaver pulled some pranks on various pizza guys/girls. David Rossi pulled some pranks while at the mall. Derek Morgan pulled some pranks at the drive thru of various restaurants. Penelope Garcia pulled some pranks while on a plane to London. Emily Prentiss along with Clyde Easter, pulled some pranks while in a movie theater. Aaron Hotchner and his son Jack, pulled some pranks while vacationing in Hawaii. And Spencer Reid pulled some pranks while in the elevator at the B.A.U. And coming up in this prank, we've got Alex Blake, pulling some pranks while in restaurant with her husband, James.**

 **Disclaimer: James and Alex Blake do not belong to me. They are the property of CBS/Criminal Minds. However, everyone else in this chapter does belong to me.**

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 **"Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. " ~Christopher Morley**

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It was early in the evening and James and Alex Blake were dressed nicely and celebrating their wedding anniversary at their favorite restaurant, _**"Risa's."**_ The place was fairly full, but not too packed or crowded. The two of them sipped on glasses of red wine and talked as they waited for their meal to arrive.

"Thank you for bringing me here for our anniversary. I've always loved this place." Alex said.

"You're welcome and I've always been quite fond of this place too. Thank you for marrying me all those years ago." James smiled at his wife.

Alex smiled back and said, "Well, you were always the man of my dreams." She then turned around and said to the people over at the next table, "Excuse, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was just wondering if my husband and I are talking too loud for you?"

"No, you're fine." A woman at the table politely said.

"Okay, thanks." Alex turned back to her husband.

"What was that all about?" James asked.

"Oh, I was just wondering if we were being too loud for them." Alex said, but she really wasn't wondering. It was just the beginning of some pranks that she had secretly planned, when she and James left the house, earlier.

About thirty seconds later, she turned back to the people at the other table and said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you again, but is my chair to close to your table?"

"No, we've got plenty of space here." The same woman politely said, again.

"Oh, okay. I didn't want it to seem like I was trying to join your table." Alex smiled and turned back to James.

The two of them talked some more, until the waitress showed up with their food. She sat a plate of grilled chicken and pasta with broccoli in front of Alex. And a plate of lobster and shrimp was placed in front of James. They both thanked her and she walked away, afterwards.

"I love ordering this whenever we come here." Alex motion to her food with her fork.

"And this is my favorite." James said as he motioned to his food with his fork.

About another thirty seconds later, Alex turned back to the people at the next table and once again said, "Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother one again, but are we chewing our food too loud?"

She could tell they were all starting to get annoyed with her because they were all sighing loudly and rolling their eyes at her.

"No, you're fine." A man rudely said.

"Okay, jeeze. No need to get snappy and rude at me." Alex said as she turned back to James and smiled.

"Everything okay?" James asked as he swallowed a bite of lobster.

"Yeah, everything's good." Alex said.

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 **End of chapter one. Please let me know what you thought and leave me some reviews. I just love receiving those. Good or bad, it doesn't matter. At least I know this fic is being read. I'll have chapter two up as soon as possible.**


	2. It Isn't Real

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter. Hope you enjoy this second chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: Alex and James Blake are still not mine, but everyone else in this chapter is my creation!**

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Alex and James had just finished their meals. They continued to sip their wine and chat about various things. The people at the other table had left a few minutes ago, and a new group was now occupying the table.

"Hey, you still hungry? I'm thinking about ordering another plate of food. You want another one?" James asked.

"You sure?" Alex looked at him with a questionable look.

"Yeah, it's our anniversary. Order as much as you'd like. I'm paying, remember?"

Alex thought for a moment before saying anything. Finally, James received an answer from her.

"I could use another meal, but I am so going to regret it afterwards. Just think of the extra pounds I'll probably gain afterwards." Alex smiled.

James smiled back and said, "It doesn't matter. I married you for who you are, not for what size you are." He then motioned for the waitress to come back.

"Are you ready to pay for your meals?" The waitress politely asked.

"No, we was wondering if you could bring back the menus. We'd like to order another meal, if that's alright with you?" James politely asked.

"Of course. It's no problem at all. I'll be back with a couple of menus for the two of you."

James and Alex thanked the waitress as she walked away. A few moments later, she returned with two menus and sat each one in front of James and Alex, telling them to take their time and that she would come back whenever they're ready to order.

After reading the menus for a couple of minutes and finally deciding what they'd each like to order, James once again motioned for the waitress to come back. When she came back, she was holding a pen and a small note pad.

Smiling, she asked, "You two ready to order?"

"Yes we are." James smiled back at her. "I'd like a steak with a side of order of fried okra and mashed potatoes, please?"

"And could I get "And could I get the Caribbean Chicken with a side order of onion rings and rice, please?" Alex also smiled at the waitress.

The waitress happily wrote down their orders and told them she would have their meals ready in a few moments, walking away, afterwards. James and Alex continued to talk, while they waited for their meals.

"Remember when my family first met you?" Alex asked.

James smiled and said, "Yeah, I remember. Your mother was very accepting of me, but your dad and brothers… not so much. They had a lot of questions for me when I took you out on our first date."

"You could say they were a little overprotective of me." Alex let out a small laugh. "But I think you eventually grew on my dad and brothers."

"I did. Now do you remember when my family first met you?" James asked.

"Yes, I do remember. Your dad and I got along real great when we first met each other, but your mom and I, well… let's just say we wasn't the best of friends at first."

"She was really not into our relationship, but I think it was because she was only afraid of losing her only son."

"Well, that's understandable and I think that's how it was with my dad and brothers. And I think it was a little after our wedding, when your mom and I started getting along with each other." Alex said.

The waitress soon returned with their food. She sat James' plate of food in front of him and then she sat Alex's plate of food in front of her.

"Thanks." James and Alex said in unison.

"You're welcome. Can I get you two any refills on wine?"

"Yes, please." They both said in unison.

"Okay, I'll be back in a moment. Enjoy your meals." The waitress walked away.

After the waitress had walked away, Alex suddenly wrapped her arms around herself and began to rock backwards and forwards, while muttering incoherently, "It isn't real. It isn't real. It isn't real." She kept repeating those words over and over again as she continued to hug herself and rock backwards and forwards in her chair.

Nearly everyone else, including James, were staring at her and wondering what the hell was going on with her. Some people were annoyed with her, so they just rolled their eyes. Some were whispering about her. James, who was showing great concern for his wife in these last couple of seconds, asked her, "Something wrong?" Finally he saw a smile forming across his wife's lips and a smile slowly formed across his own lips. "This is a prank, isn't it?"

Alex stopped what she had been doing and responded to her husband, "Yes it is."

"Why didn't you tell me?! We're a team! We should be doing this together! Don't leave me out of all the fun!" James said with a laugh.

Alex let out a laugh and said, "I thought you wouldn't have figured it all out until later."

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 **End of chapter two. Please leave me some reviews. I'll have chapter three up as soon as possible. And starting next chapter, James will be in on the pranks.**


	3. Been Here This Entire Time

**A/N: I just want to thank all those who read and reviewed for the second chapter. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope you like this third chapter just as much.**

 **Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own James and Alex Blake. I wish I did, but I do not. However, everyone else in this chapter is mine!**

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Moments had passed since Alex's last prank and since James had figured out that she was pranking everyone. He was now an accomplice in his wife's pranks. The two of them continued to eat their meals as they talked to each other. Not only were they eating and talking, but they were also waiting for the right moment for their next upcoming prank.

"So, we got any plans after leaving here?" Alex asked.

"I can't tell you. It'll ruin any surprises that I may have for you." James grinned as he carefully chewed a piece of his steak.

"You just know how much I love surprises." Alex took a sip of her wine.

"So when do we do our next little prank?"

"Soon, very soon. Just be patient." Alex informed her husband.

A couple of men at a few tables away, got up from their sets, leaving the rest of their group at the table. There were at least fifteen people sitting at that table. Alex then saw this as her chance and whispered to James, "Alright, now!" The two of them quickly got up and jumped into the now unoccupied chairs. Everyone else at the table were busily talking to each other, to even realize that Alex and James were now there. But there were a few people at the table who saw them and just gave them odd, weird looks. Pulling out three $50.00 bills, James whispered to the three people who were looking at him and Alex, "I'll give you each $50.00 if you play along and say that we've been here, this entire time." He motioned towards Alex and then himself.

"Hey? Who are you?" A woman asked, when she looked over and saw James and Alex sitting at the table.

Everyone at the table had stopped talking and looked over at Alex and James and had confused expressions. They too had wanted to know who Alex and James were. So, they waited for an answer from the two of them.

"What do you mean, who are we?! Don't you remember us, we're James and Alex! We've been here, this entire time!" James said.

"No you have not!" The woman said.

"Oh yes we have. See, that's what you get for inviting a bunch of people to have dinner with you. You forget who's with you." Alex explained.

"My group and I have been here for an hour and a half and none of us recalls the two of you being here." The woman said as many others at the table, nodded their heads in agreement.

"They really have been here, the entire time." A middle aged man had said.

"Yeah, it's like they said. There's a bunch of people sitting here, so it's easy for you to have forgotten who all you invited." Another young man had chimed in.

"Honestly, Aunt Maude, they really have been sitting there, this entire time." A teenage girl had said.

Maude, the woman who had been arguing with James and Alex about whether or not they had been there, the entire time, just stared at James and Alex for a few moments. They could tell that she was in deep in thought. While Maude was thinking, James and Alex gave a quick smile to the three people, silently thanking them. The three people smiled back at them.

"Well, but what happened to Lyle and Glen? Weren't they here?" Maude asked as everyone else was wondering the same thing.

There was some silence, until the teenager spoke, "Yeah, they were here, but they left, remember? They were sitting next to James and Alex. We all know that Lyle and Glen are the life of the party. That's probably why James and Alex went unnoticed, while Lyle and Glen were here."

"Olivia may be right, my dear. Those two could have been sitting there this entire time, but we failed to notice them because we were all too busy, laughing at Glen and Lyle's jokes." A man who Alex and James assumed was Maude's husband, had said.

"But Uncle Rupert, we don't recognize them." A middle aged woman had said.

Alex and James, who had been fearing that they've been caught, starting to rise from their seats, but thankfully, one of the men who was in on the prank, saved the day.

"Well that's what you get for disowning Aunt Gracie-Jayne, all those years ago."

"What does any of this have to do with Aunt Gracie-Jayne?" A woman asked.

"Don't you all see the similarities? They're her children. The twins, remember?!"

"I don't remember my sister Gracie-Jayne having twins." Maude said.

This little argument went on for a couple more minutes until James and Alex looked at each, smiled and realized they could no longer stand it. They both stood up and Alex announced, "Alright, you all caught us! We really haven't been here the entire time. We just saw your two friends get up and leave and we saw it as our opportunity to have a little fun with you. We're not twins. Hell, we're not even brother and sister and we don't even know who Gracie-Jayne is. We're husband and wife. And we just paid those three, to play along with us." She motioned towards the three people who were in on the prank.

"Yeah, what she said." James said. "And whatever Gracie-Jayne did to make you all disown her, it can't be all that bad. So maybe you should all just forgive her and move on. After all, she is your family."

"My thought's exactly." Alex said. She then looked her and James' three accomplices and said, "Thanks, you've all been really great during this. Well, James, it's back to the table for you and I." She grabbed James by the hand and dragged him towards their table.

"Nice meeting you all!" James said as he was being pulled away.

Everyone at the table, just sat there and stared. No one could believe that they had just been pranked. When James and Alex were seated back at their table, they could no longer contain their laughter. They spent a few moments, just laughing at what they had just done.

"I can't believe we just did that!" James said.

"Those poor people! We probably made them think they were losing their minds, for not "remembering" us!" Alex used air quotations for the word "remembering." "Thank God, we convinced those one three to play along with us!"

"Otherwise, the prank would have been one huge failure!"

The laughter had soon subsided and the two of them were quietly talking and eating their meals. The group that they had just pranked, left a few moments ago. James took a bite of fried okra, carefully chewed it and swallowed. Afterwards, he asked, "So what do we have planned next?"  
"You'll see. Our pranks are not over, just yet." Alex grinned.

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 **End of chapter three. Please leave me some reviews. I'd love to know what your opinions are about it. Chapter four will be up as soon as possible.**


	4. You Want It Back?

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews for the previous chapter. I hope you'll enjoy this next chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own James and Alex, but however, everyone else in this chapter, is my creation.**

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Minutes had passed since the previous prank and the service was starting to wind down as people were beginning to leave and many of the tables were looking pretty bare. A few more customers had walked in and sat down.

James and Alex had finished their second round of meals, moments ago. Debating on whether to order desserts or not, they finally made their decision as James motioned for the waitress to come back.

"You ready for some desserts?" The waitress asked.

"How did you know?" James grinned at the waitress.

The waitress grinned back and said, "I guess I'm just good at guessing."

Alex looked at James, smiled and pointed at the waitress, while saying, "Now she really does know us!" as the three of them laughed.

"Okay, so what can I get the two of you?" The waitress asked between laughs.

"I'll have the chocolate mousse cake with fried cookie dough ice cream." James said.

"And I'll have the triple chocolate smores lava cake." Alex said.

The waitress wrote down their orders and said with a smile, "Alright, I'll be back with you desserts in just a few moments." walking away, afterwards.

After the waitress had walked away, Alex reached over to the table beside them and snatched up a shrimp from off of someone's plate. James smiled as he watched her place it into her mouth and eat it. The man who had ordered the shrimp, wasn't too pleased with Alex's antic.

"Excuse you!" The man rudely said.

"You want it back?" Alex pretended to stick her fingers down her throat.

The man scoffed and just ignored Alex.

Alex shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention back to her husband and said with a smirk, "Your turn." 

Reaching over to another table, James snatched up a string of pasta from the plate of a teenage boy. The boy and his friends just stared at James for a moment, while Alex smiled. After eating the string of pasta, James looked at the boy and his friends and said, "Hope you didn't mind that I did that. I just really wanted to try that pasta."

"Nah, I don't mind." The boy said. "You want some more?"

James and Alex both looked at each other, completely dumbfounded. They didn't expect that kind of reaction from the young boy. They thought surely he would have a fit over someone messing with his food.

"He doesn't mind!" James whispered to Alex.

"I know! That's just really weird!" Alex whispered back.

James turned his attention back to the teenager and answered his question, "No thanks." and then turned his attention back to Alex.

A few minutes later, Alex had excused herself to go to the restroom. The waitress soon approached their table with their desserts. She placed James order in front of him and then she placed Alex's order on the table, afterwards.

"Enjoy your desserts." She smiled.

"Thanks. My wife better get back from the rest room soon or I might just have to eat that too." James jokingly motioned towards the triple chocolate smores lava cake.

"Oh I don't know if your wife would be too happy about that. You know how us girls get with sweets." The waitress said in a joking kind of manner.

"Yeah, your right. I better not." James said with a smile.

The waitress smiled back and said, "Well, I hope you and your wife enjoys your desserts. Let me know if I can get you anything else."

"Thank you." James said as the waitress then walked away.

From across the room, Alex was exiting the restroom. She stopped by table that was occupied by two women that were probably around her age. She snatched up a cracker and dipped it into one of the woman's vegetable soup, placing it in her mouth and eating it, afterwards.

"Hey!" The woman angrily said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You want that back?" Alex once again pretended to stick her finger down her throat.

"No, just don't touch my food again."

"Okay fine, but it wouldn't kill you to share." Alex walked away before the woman or her friend had a chance to say another word.

As she was approaching her table, Alex saw James standing at another table and placing a piece of food from someone else's plate, into his mouth. She was close enough to hear what was going on.

"What the hell, man?! Why you taking food off of my plate?! Get your own?!" A young man rudely said to James.

"You want that back?" James pretended to stick his finger down his throat.

"You're sick." The man said.

Smirking to himself, James walked away and went back to his table where Alex was sitting there. "Glad to see you back." He placed a kiss on her lips and then sat down in his chair.

"Glad to see that my cake finally arrived." Alex jokingly said as she took a bite of her dessert.

And I didn't even take one bite of it." James jokingly replied back.

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 **End of chapter four. Please leave me some reviews. You know I just love it when you send me some. Chapter five will be up as soon as possible.**


	5. The Stain

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter. Hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: James and Alex are not mine, but everyone else in this chapter is!**

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Across from the room, a lady got up from her seat, leaving her group at the table. James casually walked over there with Alex trailing behind, carrying a small piece of her cake in her hands. James stood at their table and said to the people, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice. You all look very familiar. Have you ever been to Switzerland?"

While James distracted the people, Alex quickly smashed the piece of cake into the unoccupied seat. She then walked back to her table, going unnoticed by everyone.

"No, we've never been to Switzerland." A man politely said.

"Oh, I see. I lived in Switzerland for a few years. I guess you all just have one of those faces." James said, clearly lying about ever living in Switzerland. When he glanced at the unoccupied seat, he realized that Alex had already done the prank. He then turned his attention back to the group and said, "I'm sorry to have bothered you all. Please continue to enjoy you meals." He then made his way back to his table, where Alex was waiting for him.

"What in the world is that?!" Alex and James could hear the woman, from across the room. Nearly everyone turned to see what was going on.

"Guess she came back and saw the little present we left for her." James took a bite of his fried cookie dough ice cream.

"Doesn't seem too thrilled about it." Alex responded back. "You think her friends or family saw me putting it on her chair?"

"No, they were all too busy listening to me, to even notice you were there."

A man and a woman at a nearby table got up to pay their bill and left, shortly afterwards. James quickly smeared part of his chocolate mousse cake onto the man's chair. When the waitress came back to clear up all the dishes and pick up the tip on the now unoccupied table, she noticed the stain on the chair and had a weird and disgusted look on her face.

"Guess it went right through him." James was also staring at the chair, trying to keep a straight face.

Realizing that it wasn't what she thought it was, the waitress heaved a sigh of relief and wiped off the chair. After she had left, James and Alex shared a fit of laughter.

"Did you see the look on her face?!" Alex asked.

"Yeah! She looked so disgusted! I thought she was about to throw up!" James responded.

"Well, it's a good thing she didn't because if she did, then everyone else probably would have too!"

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 **End of chapter five. I'd love to know what your opinions about it are. So, please leave me some reviews. There's just one more chapter left and I'll have it up as soon as possible.**


	6. Food Fight!

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter. I hope you like this final chapter just as much.**

 **Disclaimer: James, Alex and any other CM character mentioned in this chapter, don't belong to me, but everyone else in this chapter, is mine!**

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They finished what was left of their desserts and drank the rest of their wine, while reminiscing about all the great times they've had since they've been together. The service was also starting to pick back up as more customers were coming through the doors.

"Remember that night when we almost got arrested for jumping in that coin fountain, when we were in college?" Alex smiled.

James let out a laugh and said, "Yeah, I remember. That poor cop never did catch us."

"He must have had one too many jelly donuts that night. It's funny how I'm now working on the side of the law." Alex said.

"I can't believe your little brother, Scott began working on the side of the law. He was always getting into trouble at school when he was younger." James said.

"Yeah, I know, right? It seemed like every day, mom and dad would get a phone call from the principal." Alex said in amazement. "But Scott never harmed anyone. I think he was just a little prankster."

"He was pretty good at pranks." James admitted. "I remember that day when I came to your parents house to visit you and he somehow hid a dozen rotten eggs, inside of my car. It took me at least three days to get rid of that smell." He let out a laugh.

Letting out a laugh too, Alex said, "I felt so bad for you!"

"I admit, I was a little angry at first, but then I couldn't stay mad any longer. So I just ended up laughing it off."

A few minutes later, the two decided it was time to leave. James placed a $150.00 tip on the table as he and Alex got up to leave. As James was paying at the front register, Alex managed to sneak a handful of green beans from an unoccupied table without being noticed.

"I hope you two enjoyed your evening here." The man behind the register said with a smile as he handed some cash back to James.

"We sure did." James and Alex smiled back.

"Come back again, please." The man said.

"Oh we will." James said as he and Alex walked out the front door.

A few moments later, when they noticed the guy was no longer at the register and no one was looking, the two of them quietly snuck back in. Alex tossed the green beans at the back of someone's head and she and James loudly shouted, "FOOD FIGHT!" quickly leaving before anyone could see them.

They crouched below a window outside of the restaurant and laughed as they watched many of the customers toss food at each other. The staff was trying to calm everyone down, but many were hit with items of food.

"Wow, that is one huge food fight going on in there!" James said.

"Yeah, thanks to you and I." Alex grinned. "Quick, let's get out of here, before they figure out that we're the ones who started it." She ran towards their vehicle with James following behind her.

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 **"Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one's bottom." ~Taki**

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 **Well, that's the end of this fic. This may be the end of this fic, but it isn't the end of the series. Coming up in my next and final "Annoying Ways" installment, we have JJ pulling some pranks. I'll have that story posted as soon as possible.**


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